In October 2024, I unknowingly embarked on what became a historic run of perfect laundry performances. Around December 2024, months into this streak, I noticed that I had not lost a single sock for months (the October 2024 start date of this adventure is a conservative estimate). My sock inventory consisted of six low cut, black, adidas socks, six ankle cut, black adidas socks, and various Darn Tough socks, each pair unique. At the turn of the new year, I realized I was in the middle of something special. I felt similar to what I imagine Michael Phelps or Usain Bolt felt like when they showed up to the Olympics, I just couldn’t lose. Every time I folded my socks or opened my laundry door, I knew without a doubt that every sock would be in a perfect pair. No sock left behind. 

In the early months of 2025, I really hit my peak. The awareness of the streak I was maintaining only heightened the pressure to not slip and lose a sock. To combat the nerves and fatigue, I started to take laundry more seriously than ever before. I developed a sock retention system.

My socks always went into the hamper together, unfolded and right-side-out. On laundry day, whenever I moved my hamper, I was absolutely locked in. I learned to have eyes in the back of my head and developed a sixth sense to immediately notice any article of clothing falling out of the hamper. The slightest change in weight from a dropped sock would alert my brain to halt forward progress immediately and retrace my steps for the lost sock. This was the easy part. 

Loading clothes into the washing machine was done with meticulous care. More important than the actual loading process, visually and manually checking the cracks between the washing machine, wall, and dryer became a necessary habit. Transferring clothes from the washer to the dryer was a similar process. Move efficiently and carefully. Check the cracks. 

After the dryer cycle, I added a few extra steps to ensure 100% sock yield. I would move all my clothes to my hamper. Check the cracks. I would then spin the dryer manually once to make sure no sock was precariously perched on one of the internal dryer ridge-fan-things. Then I would sweep my hand along the dryer closest to me where it is a bit harder to see. With these checks in place, it was impossible for any sock to escape. 

With my hamper of warm, fluffy clothes, I would immediately try to fold them and return them to their typical resting places. Folding quickly after a laundry cycle would alert me to any sock discrepancies that I could attempt to remedy with haste if necessary. No sock left behind.

I did laundry like this for months. I would tell people about my sock streak and they would pause and look at me as if they misheard me. They would say “Oh, cool” and keep talking about something else. But I knew deep down they were agonizing over how in the world I was able to pull off such a feat (pun not intended). Well, this is behind the scenes. Hidden sock truths uncovered. Big Sock will hate me for this but the truth had to come out at some point. 

In early May 2025, I noticed my first lost sock. For a few days I hoped it would magically reappear. But the thing about socks is that once they are lost, they rarely return. From there, my concentration and dedication faltered. I lost more socks. It became too difficult to keep track of where they went. Eight months. 240 days. At least 32 complete laundry cycles. No lost socks. The new number to beat.