I am about halfway through a book right now called Cave in the Snow, written by Vicki Mackenzie. It is a random book I grabbed at Goodwill a couple days ago because it looked intriguing. The book follows the life of Tenzin Palmo, a British woman who leaves behind the Western world in pursuit of studying Buddhist philosophy and the Buddhist understanding of life. Tenzin Palmo is a unique individual in many ways. Not only was she one of the first Westerners to embrace Buddhism with her complete life’s dedication, but she was also a trailblazing woman in a historically patriarchal spiritual society. On top of all the challenges she faced, her ultimate goal was always to achieve Enlightenment and she would stop at nothing in her quest. After about 15 years of intense Buddhist practice and study, Tenzin Palmo commenced a remarkable 12 year journey of solitary meditation in a small cave on a mountain. 

Right now, I am reading about her experiences in the cave and I can’t help but struggle to understand what that would be like. To live completely alone, in quiet solitude, with nothing to do except survive and intensely contemplate the nature of your own mind. I am always instinctually skeptical of reincarnation, deities, religious prophets, and messages from beyond my reality. All that aside, I am in absolute awe at the ability of a person to dedicate that much time and energy in pure reflection of existence and consciousness. 

It’s not like she is just living out in the woods on her own. Surviving in peace without other humans. No, she has a defined purpose that she strived towards day after day. Everything besides meditating, millions of iterative Buddhist practices, and intense self-inquiry was considered a distraction. Unfortunately, it is against Buddhist practices to preach about what one has attained on their path to enlightenment. But I can’t help but imagine the equanimity and perspective on life that she attained during her time in isolation.

I meditate for ten minutes a day. At this current rate, it would take me 1,729 years to match her total time in the cave. And my quality of meditation is nothing compared to what she was going through. I genuinely just can’t comprehend how a person could exist like that for that long of time. Time and space must start to take on different shapes. What would one day even feel like? A week? A month? A year? As a thought experiment, try imagining the last 12 years of your life. When I close my eyes I am 17 years old and still in high school. What if I had spent every day for the last 12 years of my life alone in a cave on a mountain. It is bizarre to think about. Truly awe-inspiring. 

By all accounts from the author, Tenzin Palmo now travels the world and is a tremendously kind and peaceful human being. The author speaks of her as if her very presence radiates a sense of stillness that permeates into the souls of everyone near her. There are so many different ways to live a human life. Today, Tenzin Palmo continues her spiritual journey as a teacher, author, and activist for Buddhist nuns. 

12 years.